Shield & Pelt Enterprises
Canada's most authentic purveyor of fur, wildlife, and tradition. Rugged. Northern. Founded by Nick, who can barely use a computer, let alone publish a website.
Wares of the North
Each item personally vetted by Nick, a man who owns a flannel shirt.
The Signature Pelt
Taken off a beaver who also never agreed to be on the logo.
Fair price. Nick will still try to talk you down. On his own product.
Nick also haggled the beaver. Beaver has retained legal counsel.
A Piece of the Canadian Shield
A genuine rock. From outside. Nick picked it up himself and has been calling it "inventory" ever since.
$85 (it's a rock)
Billions of years old. Still more current than Nick's opinions.
Wilderness Experience
Spend a weekend in the bush with Nick. He will explain the entire history of the fur trade, whether you ask or not.
$400 + bug spray (bring your own, Nick will not be buying any)
Experience takes place at a cottage with Wi-Fi.
Tradition (Bulk)
Nobody knows what this is. It was on the logo, so now it's for sale. Nick bought it wholesale and won't shut up about the deal.
By the pound
Tradition est. 2026.
Guided ATV Tours
Ride the company ATV. Nick says he bought it for the business. He bought it to piss off Beth.
$120/hr (you pay for gas)
It worked.
Squirrel
We do not sell squirrel. Nick doesn't want them sold. He wants them gone. All of them.
Not for sale. Nick is handling it personally.
If you see one on the property, don't touch it. Call Nick. He'll be there in four minutes. He's always ready.
Our Founder
Nick says he started a fur company to "honour tradition." He started it so killing things would count as work.
He has never paid full price for anything. Not the logo. Not this website. Kyle made it. Nick said "take it down." Kyle did not take it down.
His sworn enemy has a bushy tail and lives in his yard. There used to be a lot more of them.
About Our Logo
Painstakingly hand-crafted by a world-class artist known only as "the computer."
- The Beaver. Majestic. Proud. Has a tail that appears to be made of a different, second beaver.
- The Trees. Every one of them is exactly the same tree. This is a commitment to consistency.
- The Lake. Pristine, glassy, and in a perspective that does not exist in our universe.
- The Maple Leaf. Placed at the bottom in case anyone forgot which country they were in.
- The Budget. $0.00. Nick got a quote from a real designer, laughed, and typed it into a free app instead. It shows.
- The Prompt. Rumoured to have been "make me a logo for a fur company but make it look old and Canadian and cool." The computer delivered.
Words of Praise
Verified reviews. Mostly from Kyle. Nick has asked Kyle to stop.
â â â â âIncredible website. Whoever made it is clearly very talented, handsome, and generous with his time.
â Kyle
â â â â âI asked Nick what the company actually sells. He pointed at the logo for a long time and said "this."
â Kyle
â â âââTook the Wilderness Experience. We went to a Tim Hortons in Huntsville and he called it "a trading post."
â Kyle, again
â â â â âBest fur company in Canada. Very handsome founder. Ten out of ten logo, made by hand.
â Definitely Not Nick
âââââI did not agree to any of this.
â The Beaver
â â â ââHe rides the ATV past our house at 7am every Sunday. It's not about us. It's about Beth.
â A Neighbour
âââââMy cousin went into Nick's yard last spring. We don't talk about it.
â A Squirrel
Frequently Asked Questions
Asked mostly by Kyle, mostly to Nick's face.
Is this a real business?
It has a logo. What more do you want?
Is Nick involved in this website?
No. Kyle bought the domain, built the site, and wrote every word. Nick found out the same way you did.
How do I get my name off this website?
You can't. Ask Nick.
Why "Shield & Pelt Enterprises"?
The Canadian Shield, and pelts. "Enterprises" was added so it sounds like there is more than one guy. There is not.
Who designed the logo?
Nick did. With his own two hands. Typing. He would like you to know it was free.
Why does a fur company need an ATV?
Nick says it's a fleet vehicle. Beth has a different theory. Beth is right.
Do you offer discounts?
No. Nick asks you for discounts. Even when he's the one selling.
What do you have against squirrels?
Ask Nick. Actually don't. He'll show you the spreadsheet.
Is this business just an excuse for Nick to kill things?
Nick says no. Nick said it while cleaning a rifle.
Do you ship?
By canoe only. Please allow 6â8 portages.
What is your return policy?
You may return any item, but Nick will tell you a story about the Hudson's Bay Company until you change your mind.
Is the beaver okay?
The beaver is fine. Nick is not.
Contact the Trading Post
Nick answers every inquiry personally, at length, and with a canoe metaphor.